Morning Day 4

Went out again last night and didn't smoke much at all. I told all the people I know in the bar including my favorite bartenders that I am quitting. The word is out this time and my friends won't let me live it down if I go back on my word to myself. I know I am going to have to stay home for a while or at least only go to smoke free bars but I am hoping that won't last long. I enjoy spending time with my friends and playing pool.

Yesterday I was thinking about what I am going to do with my cig roller boobah... It is one of the expensive cig makers. I have been making my own for years now. I know the right thing to do is to give it away but of course once I do that there is no going back to smoking ever. I know that is my plan anyways but wow... Once that little $50 machine is gone there will be no going back. There was this little voice in my head saying.. give it to someone you know will give it back if you need it. But I won't ever need it again and caving to that little voice would be like a defeat before I even get started. I wonder if I should throw a going away party for it??

Feeling pretty damn good this morning. Woke up at like 11:45 and ate some food and toke my pill. Didn't have my first smoke till just after 1. Was watching ER and I thought about the smoke but didn't really feel like getting off my couch to go outside and smoke it. Now that is new.... apparently the smoke meant less to me than my laziness. Normally I can be convinced to get out of bed in the middle of the night to have a smoke. When I did finally get up and smoke it was only 1/2 a cig. Told myself I was going to smoke another when my son got back with my coffee but instead I am now sitting here typing. This Chantix stuff really does curb the cravings, I still think about smoking but I can already tell that it doesn't pull me the way it used to. And this is only Day 4 and I haven't taken a 2nd pill yet.