Well I am back at work today for the first time in what feels like forever. I will be starting my 2nd week of non-smoking tomorrow. For some reason right now I am getting fairly strong urges to smoke. I could leave work right now but I am putting it off so I don't have to get in my car like this. I am drinking water. My stomach is growling a bit as if I am hungry which I definetly shouldn't be as I ate a sandwich at lunch time which is more than I usually do.
I am planning to go to a Women with Weights class at the YMCA for the first time today at 5:45 and was kind of planning on staying away from my house until afterwards.
The staying away from my house thing comes from the increasinly unwanted houseguest on my couch. I have never been very good at confrontation so I still haven't said anything to her but for %^#%$# sake I told her she could crash on the couch for a couple days back at the end of April and she has been there ever since. She doesn't give me any money and when I got back from my camping trip my whole fucking house smelt like cigarette smoke. I think she doesn't realize (anymore than I did) how much it stinks to someone who is not smoking. She probably thought I wouldn't notice if she smoked a couple inside while I was gone. I noticed!! Not to mention she slept on my couch yesterday until well after 4pm... there are things I would like to do in my house ya know. I love this girl and she is a good friend but I cherish my space as well and I am going a bit insane at this point.
Trying to come up with non-confrontational ways to tell her it is time to go isn't working out so well for me at this point as I clearly haven't come up with anything. r
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2 comments:
Yikes, Lakasha. I'm not sure how well I would do returning to a smoky home after quitting, especially considering the circumstances.
Unsolicited advice follows. Please ignore, delete or don't read if you weren't looking for people like me to butt in with thoughts.
My $0.02 on the extended visit. I'd very nicely sit down with my friend, maybe even take her hands in mine, and gently explain that as much as I've been glad to help and as willing as I am to help in perhaps some other ways, the time has come that I simply need my own space and my own home back in order to live my own life. You do not owe her any reasons, justifications or apologies - you've been more than generous already, and you do not owe her food and shelter (do you?). Then, depending on what you know her circumstances or available options to be, I'd let her know by what exact and particular calendar date (in other words, not something flimsy like "within the next few weeks") she'll need to be prepared to move out. I'd offer whatever assistance I could provide, if needed along, with reassurance that I still do care for her and do want to remain close friends.
The catch is that you have to be prepared for the risk of losing a friendship if you think it might come to that, which I do hope is not the case. Still, this sounds like a way less than ideal situation for you to be in so long term on top of the quitting smoking thing and something that actually might not even be good for her, again, depending a lot on my presumption about her situation and why she is staying way beyond agreement and not contributing either.
Whatever you decide, good luck!
Thanks for the input Maggie... I know you are right and that is what I need to do it is just getting up the ... whatever it is I need to do it.
I am not entirely sure why she hasn't already done so on her own. She has a job and what not.
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